I’m in the midst of a massive flare. A flare that just keeps coming, no breaks, and to me, no end in sight.
With a root canal scheduled for this past Thursday, I decided to skip my methotrexate the weekend before (I have now been off of it since the beginning of June). Dental work is tricky and with all of the bacteria involved, I didn’t think the risk was worth it.
That root canal involved three hours in the dentist chair and I left with only 90% complete. I have a very considerate dentist who propped my mouth open for me but just having it open that long threw my jaw into a flare. It hurts tremendously and I’ve limited myself to soft foods for the past 4 days.
So this weekend, I had to skip methotrexate, again, since I won’t be back to the dentist until a week from now (which means, you guessed it, no methotrexate next weekend either).
My knee had progressed so well in PT that I really saw the light at the end of the tunnel. I had a new med plan- I have my first Simponi Aria infusion later this week and felt that I was days away from starting back at the gym.
That light is so dim now, I can barely see it. But I’m going to focus on it, make that light at the end of the tunnel a bit brighter.
A little over four years ago, I couldn’t walk. I can walk today with a slight, yet endearing limp (or swagger you may say). Four years ago, I couldn’t reach my face with my left arm because my elbow was locked. Today, I was able to knit. Four years ago I was hopeless. Although it may seem like it today, I’m not hopeless, I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that my new meds will work (in time, of course). I’m hopeful that I’m going to return to the gym, stronger than ever. And I’m hopeful because I have such a strong community of supporters near and far. And I won’t let them down.