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Category Archives: Rheumatoid Arthritis

Rheumatoid Arthritis

And Then There Was One..

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✔️ Physical

✔️ EKG

✔️ Bloodwork

 

One week from tomorrow, I’ll have surgery on my left wrist. I eventually need to have nerve release surgery on my left elbow and my right wrist, but I’m starting off slow. I’m right handed so this shouldn’t be too big of a deal, right? Uh, wrong. All I can think about are all of the things I need two hands to do:

  • Blow drying my hair. Yes it has to be dried every morning. I don’t have that wonderful type of hair that can just be pulled back into a ponytail (which, I should add, I wouldn’t be able to do any way because you need two hands for a
  • Eye liner. Should be really fun trying to hold my eyelid and use the eyeliner with one good hand. Suggestions appreciated.
  • Parallel parking. I do this every single day at work. Or, I used to.
  • Putting my contacts in. This should be a treat. Thank goodness they’re daily disposables.
  • Getting dressed. My bra, buttons, you get the idea. It’s not like I can wear sweats and sneakers every day. I couldn’t even tie my own shoe!
  • Managing my Type 1 Diabetes- pricking my finger, inserting a new infusion set. Ugh.

 

There are some bright spots though. I’ve thought of some things that I won’t be able to do and I’m looking forward to not doing them:

  • Grocery shopping. Push a cart with one hand? Not a good idea.
  • Cooking. Definitely going to need help with this one.
  • Dishes. Can’t really hold a dish and wash it with one hand, right? Especially while my stitches are in and I can’t get them wet.

Have you ever had an injury to your arm? How did you complete your normal activities? Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Gold Medal

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I often exclaim to my husband “Guess what?! I didn’t take any pain medication today!”. Does that mean I didn’t have any pain? Not necessarily….

Pain medications are prescribed for a very simple reason- to eliminate (or reduce) pain so you can live your life. Sure, it’s always a good plan to be on the least amount of medications possible. But shouldn’t the goal be to also be in the least amount of pain possible, with or without the use of medications? Why then do I feel like I need to prove that I can go a day without popping a pain pill? Last time I checked, there were no awards or gold medals given out to those who persevered through pain instead of just taking a prescribed aid.

I need to remember that right now I am fighting a real jerk of a disease (Rheumatoid Arthritis)…a disease that manages to disrupt so much of my life. As I wait for the big drugs to hopefully do their job (Orencia at the moment), why shouldn’t I take whatever I need to, to try to live my life to the fullest?

Starting today, my new exclamation will be “I didn’t have much pain today!”. I’ll be waiting for my gold medal.

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Rheumatoid Arthritis

Brush It Off

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To most people, these two brush handles look pretty similar. They’re both for round brushes which a lot of people, like me, use to blow dry their hair straight.

To me, someone with Rheumatoid Arthritis, the brush on the right is far superior. Why? The handle is made of this squishy gel that my swollen, achy fingers have no problem holding on to forever for the 10 minutes it takes to dry my hair.

I bought that brush years ago, way before I got diagnosed with RA (3 years ago). I now wish everything could be encased in that wonderful gel: pens, whisks, vacuum handles, heck even my toothbrush!

I would love to hear what products have made your life with Rheumatoid Arthritis a bit better!

Rheumatoid Arthritis

6

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Tonight marks my 6th Orencia injection. A little part of me expects my body to do a total 360 within minutes of the injection. I almost expect to feel the Orencia go through my body, fixing every joint, reducing all of my pain, and waking me up like a cup of coffee should. I basically expect Orencia to turn me into a superhero. And yet, it’s done nothing.

I know..be patient. Wait. It takes a few months. I’ve heard it from my doctor, my husband, the little voice in my head, and from the makers of Orencia, thanks to their timely mailing reminding me not to give up.

I’m not giving up but each day I wonder what the end goal is. Is it for me to feel 100% free of Rheumatoid Arthritis? Is that even possible? Or is it for me to just be able to function a bit better, hopefully for a long time? Are things going to get worse?

I’ll wake up tomorrow and gingerly get out of bed, secretly hoping that the Orencia has given me superhero powers over night. And maybe, soon, it actually will.

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Knitting Rheumatoid Arthritis

The Worst Part

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Rheumatoid Arthritis sucks. But lately it’s not the constant pain and swelling or the overwhelming fatigue that’s got me down. It’s that RA is keeping me from doing things for other people. That makes me mad.

I love loved to knit. You wont find many of my knitted projects in my house. Why? Because I enjoyed knitting for others. Baby blankets were one of my favorites. I loved picking out bright, non-traditional colors of yarn and working them up into a soft, beautiful blanket. I love hearing from friends and family, years later, about how much their child loved the blanket from day one.

And then there are prayer shawls. I made my first one nine years ago when my Uncle died unexpectedly. I needed to do something so I started knitting. My Aunt wrote me the most wonderful letter a few weeks later telling me that my cousin, who was 8 at the time, had been falling asleep with the shawl every night since his Dad’s passing. Fast forward to less than a year ago when my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. She texted me that the prayer shawl had been with her, in her bedroom, for all of these years. Now that she was facing another battle, she was using it more than ever. I can’t explain what it meant to know that something I made was cherished year after year.

My second prayer shawl was made for my dear Aunt Melanie. My Aunt Melanie was diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung Cancer in the Spring of 2013. Again, not knowing what to do, I started to knit. I thought of all of the colors she loved and surrounded herself with and made sure my yarn reflected that. I wrapped up the shawl and put it in the mail to her in Virginia. I was unprepared for how much my Aunt would come to love and depend on that shawl. My Aunt wore it nonstop..she would text me and tell me she had it on at chemo and again to watch football on the weekends. She absolutely loved it. My Aunt Melanie fought a short but courageous battle with cancer and passed away in November, 2013. She passed away wearing my shawl.

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I think of knitting daily. I started knitting square blocks a few months ago, in hope that “little” projects somehow wouldn’t cause me as much pain as larger, heavier ones do. Every week or so I’ll pull my knitting basket out (which makes my cat ecstatic) only to find that nothing’s changed…my fingers fall asleep holding the needles, my hands and wrists ache after just a few stitches. And now knitting is 100% out until mid-November at least, since I have a ligament tear in my wrist.

I feel guilty that I’m not knitting. I have two people, who immediately come to mind, that I would love to make prayer shawls for and plenty of babies that I would love to go yarn shopping for. As each week month goes by, I lose a little hope that I’ll ever knit again.

Rheumatoid Arthritis

The goal is to be ok.

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I do a lot of googling research. I look up everything imaginable. Some of my latest searches- when is the best time to eat a banana for optimum nutritional benefits? How often should I bathe my indoor cat?

Sure I look up all of my medications and their side effects. I have a drug list saved on drugs.com. I look up what research is currently being done that will make living with Rhuematoid Arthritis just a little bit easier. But I spend a lot of my time online looking for hope. Looking for inspiration. Looking to find someone with RA who is doing ok. I don’t mean in remission. I mean someone who has a marriage and family and a full-time job. Someone who has daily pain like me. Someone who loses their hair and gets mouth sores from methotrexate, like me. Someone who takes a nap every weekend and feels guilty about it but knows that she needs it especially after a hefty methotrexate dose on Friday night.

I haven’t found that person yet. Most of what I have found is downright depressing. Google “rheumatoid arthritis” and you’ll bring up photos of hands that look painful. You’ll read that people with RA die 10-20 years earlier than those without the disease. You’ll see the medications prescribed and how dangerous their side effects are. You’ll read stories of people that can’t get out of bed, that had to leave their jobs at 30 years old.

I am in no way saying that I don’t appreciate and pray for those suffering so hard from RA. When I was diagnosed two years ago, I couldn’t walk down the stairs. I literally had to slide down on my butt like a child. I would fall asleep while getting my haircut. I couldn’t use my left arm to wash my face or hair because my elbow was locked. I was 32 years old. I got a glimpse of what RA could really do to me if I didn’t take action. And who knows? I might take all of these meds and make all of these changes and still end up far worse than I can imagine.

So what can I do? I can create hope and inspiration for myself. The first thing I’m doing is putting into action my realization (and research!) that I need to move more. Moving more will help my joints (or so WebMD says). So here’s my plan. I signed up for a 350,000 steps in March challenge via fitbit. (FYI- I was averaging about 3,000 steps a day in February.) Sure it’s only March 8th but I have managed to fit in a 3 to 5 mile walk daily. The catch? I walk in my basement. I pull up cheesy Walk Away the Pounds videos on YouTube and off I go. No one can see that sometimes I have to slow down or that I can’t always do the arm movements because my elbow is killing me. Once this weather warms up in Baltimore, I might even take my show on the road. Here’s an example of what I’ve done today:

20140308-191419.jpg I’m still working on my goal for April. I’m considering going gluten free or even giving up caffeine.

Every time I look at my fitbit summary, I feel inspired. I have hope that I can accomplish goals despite this disease. And I can only hope that my hope somehow inspires you.

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Decisions Decisions

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Short version of my relationship with Rheumatoid Arthritis: diagnosed in Dec 2011 after 3 months of being unable to use my left arm and having extreme difficulty walking, amongst other things. Immediately started on Methotrexate, added Humira in June 2012. Stayed on both drugs and aside from the crappy side effects, I was doing quite well. June 2013, I got very ill with an infection. My rheumatologist and PCP had me go off Humira and Methotrexate to try to let my immune system fight the infection (I also have Type 1 Diabetes, so my immune system is virtually nonexistent except when it wants to attack itself). Eventually I was treated with the right antibiotics and steroids but remained off of my RA meds. Surprisingly, I felt good. My rheumatologist warned me that my RA might come back with a vengeance but we both agreed that I could stay off my meds so that I would have a better chance of not getting sick over the winter and during flu season.

During my months off of my RA meds, I spent a lot of time visiting specialists to try to find out why I was so sick. One visit in particular stuck with me. I visited an oncologist (for hopefully the first and last time) and as we went through my medical history and list of medications, he paused, and asked me if my rheumatologist knew I had Type 1 Diabetes. I said of course and asked why. He said that, in his opinion, I shouldn’t be on a biologic because my immune system was so compromised. He confirmed what I had read on my own and what I was always concerned about- that my chances of getting lymphoma definitely increased with having an RA diagnosis but that they significantly increased being on Humira. I felt relieved that I was currently off the biologic and my plan was to never go back on it.

Fast forward to January of this year. My RA came back and with a venegenance. Both of my elbows are screaming in pain, my hands and wrists are constantly aching , fingers swollen..you get the point. Ibuprohen, Naproxen, compression gloves, rest, heat, ice..nothing seems to make a difference.

I saw my rheumatologist this morning and he recommended that I immediately start back on the Methotrexate and Humira. His reason being that they worked so well for me before and that we really needed to treat my RA aggressively, as it had come back strong.

All day, I have wrestled with the decision of whether to go back on my meds or not. I’m hurting, so much. My wrists and hands hurt when I shampoo my hair. They ache while I drive and the thought of having to slice up a vegetable makes me wonder if my kids really need them after all (yes, I know they do). A quick fix would be great. I know that taking the Humira injection will be horrible..ice cold and so painful. But I will feel better, possibly after the first dose. And then there’s the Methotrexate. With this one I won’t notice things getting better for about 2 months. The side effects will be awful- I’ll have intense nausea for 2 days after taking it, my hair will fall out, I’ll get mouth sores, and I’ll be more tired than I am now, if that’s even possible.

I can’t go on with this much pain and inflammation, especially since it will most likely get much worse. I have to do something. But what do I do? Is it possible to start myself back on both meds with the goal of eventually staying on as low of a dose of Methotrexate as possible? Or do I try to make it only on Methotrexate and suffer for the next two months, if not longer?