I broke down and ordered a cane today. A cane. I am extremely self conscious about this. When I mentioned the idea to my husband, he said that his fear is that I’m going to lose the ability to walk. I get that. I have that fear too. And it’s hard not to get pulled into that thought process.
But. I am not buying a cane to use for the rest of my life. I’m not buying a cane to use every day (I have every intention of hitting the gym this week). I am buying a cane for the same reason that I have bought a brace for almost every part of my body. For the same reason that my freezer is half full of ice packs. Just in case. For my bad days. For the days I need a little more support.
I will continue to take this disease day by day. Hour by hour if I have to. Yes, one day I’ll be killing it at the gym. And then the next day, I’ll be ordering a cane. All I ask is that you see me as a person who has good days and bad days. Not a person who picks and chooses when her illness affects her (wouldn’t that be nice). Keep inviting me to Fitbit challenges and keep asking how I’m doing. Whether I’m on the treadmill or walking with a cane, I’m me, not my disease.